Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fear of Finishing.

Good Morning!  Here it is Wednesday morning and I have nothing to write about, nothing to share.  I have lots of projects "in progress," but nothing completed enough to show.  I'm trying to put together some things (pictures, pillows, etc.) to place in a local shop and I'm so excited, so filled with ideas to try, but...

I'm also filled with fear.
What if the shop owner (my husband's cousin) doesn't like my things?
What if she puts them out in her shop and they don't sell?
What if I spend more on materials than I actually earn? What if I don't earn anything?

What if people laugh?
What if I fail? 

I will admit:  I am not the most adventurous person in the world.  Riding roller coasters will never be my weekend activity of choice.  Skydiving holds no appeal.  But there is something especially scary about putting your handmade dreams out there for others to critique.

And so I begin projects--a pillow here and a picture there--but just as I am nearing the finish line with them, I find one more thing that needs to be tweaked or one element that just isn't quite good enough and I set it aside to be finished later.

But later never seems to come.

A partial list of my excuses:  I have to work on my "real" job.  I need to clean the house.  I should be playing with my child.  The curtains need to be altered.  I should finish painting.  I should be out working in the yard.  I should be starting some type of exercise program.  I need to buy groceries.  I have to take C to school.  I have to take C to soccer.  I really need to clear off the kitchen table before J comes home from work.  It's time to make dinner.  My craft room is too messy to find anything.  I don't have everything I need.  I should write a blog post.  I should finish the book I'm reading.  I should be looking for a full-time job rather than playing with my crafts...

Each night at bedtime, I think about my goals and whether or not I'm moving towards them.  I think I am.  I've taken baby steps in the direction of my dreams, but I think that it's time for a leap.

A leap of faith...

1 comment:

  1. You have to get the big toe wet!!! Your work is great, give people a chance to like it or love it. Take that big chance on yourself, if it doesn't work at first keep trying.