Friday, October 28, 2011

Lonely Only!

I just saw that Kelly is showcasing families of "only children"  on her blog today and I thought that I would join in...

I am the mom of "C," a six-year-old boy who is currently in kindergarten.  He is awesome and squirrely and loud and sweet and obsessive about all things Lego and creative and a million other things.  As I sit typing this post, C is busy decorating his room for Halloween and dressing up in a self-made pirate costume while he should be getting ready for a little trip to town.

I never planned to have only one child, but my husband and I joined the parenting game a little later than most people.  I was 33 and J was 35 when C was born.  We were so excited about the little guy and totally clueless about he would change our lives.  See, J and I had gone to school for decades in order to become school psychologists and the plan was to have a baby, return to work, and live happily ever after.

Except...our original daycare option fell through and the back-up was a nightmare.  Throw in a baby who couldn't stay well for more than three days at a time, a mama who worried about her sick baby constantly, and you suddenly have a family living on one income and a slightly crazed stay-at-home mom.

Did we choose to have only one?  I'm not sure.  It just never felt like it was the right time to have a second one and then I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 37 so the decision was made.

Are we happy with our little family of three?  Absolutely.

Awesome things about having only one child:  You get to focus on the needs of only one child, you have only one college education to plan for, there's no need to store old toys and clothes in the attic "just in case," it's easier to schedule things because you only have one set of activities to plan things around...

Not-so-great things about having only one child:  Many people treat you like you're not really a mom because you only have one child, you worry about your child turning into a selfish tyrant who is incapable of co-existing with other people, you have to work especially hard to stay on his good side because he's the only one who will have a say regarding which nursing home we end up in someday (teehee), you don't get any second chances to redeem your parenting mis-steps...

Seriously, though, I am very thankful for my little guy and I would love to hear from any other moms out there who are traveling this particular parenting path.  What do you like best?  What are your biggest concerns?

Linking up to Show us your life at Kelly's Korner...


  1. I am an only child, and my parents were 31 and 34 when I came along after 7 years of marriage. I always shared my toys, snacks, whatever as that is how my mom encouraged me, had lots of playmates growing up and scads of cousins, and in all my jobs was always said to be a team player and known "to get along with everybody" - again, I thank my dear parents for their love and upbringing. I had chores to do from an early age and always helped my mom around the house. I always wanted a sibling. Especially when my parents were dealing with their illnesses. xo

  2. Love this post! I think some people just don't get it. We need to be kinder to others about their decisions even if it's not the one we made. There is no right or wrong number of children to have.

  3. Stopping from Kelly's Korner! I love this post too. I have only one son and he keeps me hopping. I wish we had more, but we started in our forties and JDaniel was the gift we were given.

  4. Well said!
    As another mom of one, I totally agree!
    Great to meet you!

  5. Thank you Autumn! I'm glad to know that there are other happy families of three out there. :)

  6. Love this post, Tricia!!

    (I'm feeling way behind on your blog...I'm playing catch-up!!)